Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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