she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This is the high leading the old right now
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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