And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i believe in u and ur pee
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
