There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
