Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
