imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
