Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
