dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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