i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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