when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
