Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
