If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
