If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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