I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
thus making me awesome and them whores
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
