Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
