i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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