I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
