dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
