Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
