My room smells like vodka and shame
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
