what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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