whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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