My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My liver just had a heart attack.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
