Non-Jews are for practice
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
