she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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