i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
