I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
