I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
