I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
