shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
