Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
