it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
