Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
