I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Randomize
