i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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