We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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