Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
