I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
