I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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