school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
