Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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