So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
