You're completely useless in the revolution.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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