if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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