Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
