Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
