But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
