We're facebook friends in real life
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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