I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
