But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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