dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
