clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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