remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
